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 New jokes









What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? 
He smashed his his nose. 


Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? 
Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. 
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... 


A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. 


Why was the washing machine laughing? 
Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. 


What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? 
Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. 


What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? 
Your wife will always blow your bonus! 


A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. 
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" 
He says a fireman! 
You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. 


One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. 
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. 
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." 
He replies "BREASTS."


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What do you call a sheep with no legs? 
A cloud 

What do you call a camal with 3 humps? 
Humphreys 

What do cows do for entertainment? 
They rent moovies ! 

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? 
DAMN! 

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ? 

How do you stop a fish from smelling? 
Cut its nose off 

What do you call a fish with no eye ? 
FSH ! 

What do you call a deer with no eyes ? 
I have no I-Deer 

What is invisable and smells like carrots? 
Rabbit farts. 

What is a dogs favourite school subject? 
"Dog-Ruff-E " 

Why are there no asprins in the jungle? 
Because the Parots-ate-em-all 

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? 
He was charged with battery. 

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? 
Juan on Juan. 

Why do gerillas have big nostralls? 
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!! 

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull? 
Lipstick

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